Oh How Life Has Changed

I had lunch plans with someone today, and they cancelled at the last minute. You know who you are :p. Now, it wasn't their fault, and I'm not mad or anything...but..

The thing is, I organized my whole day around that lunch! And it just strikes me as funny because it really brings home to me how different my life is now. Gone are the days when a 1pm lunch date meant sleeping in and plenty of time to get ready. Today I got up at 8:30, which is super early for me. I realize that doesn't seem early to most people, but it means less than 7 hours of sleep for me.

Last night Caleb had dinner at 8:30pm. I was hoping we'd do bath and bedtime by 9:30 or so, and if I were lucky, he'd sleep till midnight, giving me about 2 hours of sleep as well. No such luck. Caleb didn't feel like sleeping after his bath. So he fussed until 10:30pm, and I went ahead and fed him again. By the time he ate, burped, got his diaper changed, and was put in his bassinet it was 11:15. He fussed in his bassinet for a while and didn't want to sleep, so I put him on my chest and he slept in our bed like he usually does. Yes that's right, we bed share with the baby. It's not really by choice, but sometimes you do what you have to do to get some sleep. Finally around 11:30 we went to sleep. He was up at 1:30 to eat. So that's 2 hours of sleep for me.

We got lucky and he went back to sleep (in his bassinet!) by 2:30am and he didn't get up again until 5:30am, so I got another 3 hours (in a row!!). Then he was back asleep by 6:30, and we got up at 8:30. that means I got almost 7 hours of sleep, but all broken up, so it doesn't really feel like 7 hours. Usually I would go back to bed for an hour or two after his 8:30 feeding, but this morning I got up so I could get ready for our 1pm lunch date. Now, you might be thinking 5 hours is more than enough time to get ready. Barely.

Caleb got done eating, burping, and being changed by 9:30. I also had to fit a pumping session in there, so that takes a bit longer. I have mastered the art of pumping and bottle feeding Caleb at the same time. It's not comfortable at all, and sometimes it's messy, but it saves time. Anyway, I got him back in bed and swaddled, hoping he'd go back to sleep. He didn't but oh well, I let him fuss it out while I went downstairs to put dinner in the crock pot - bbq chicken tonight - and put some coffee on. Then I went upstairs to wash the bottles and the pump attachments. By the time I got in the shower it was after 10am. Thankfully Caleb quieted down on his own during this time, allowing momma to have a peaceful shower. I got out of the shower, hooked up the baby monitor and went downstairs to eat breakfast...where I found out that my lunch plans are cancelled.

So now it's after 11, and I was going to go upstairs and get dressed, blow dry my hair, put makeup on and feed Caleb one last time before we go out. It's important to feed the baby as close as possible to the time before leaving the house to avoid fussiness while out and about. Now I don't have to do any of that and I have a whole free 45 minutes while Caleb sleeps. So I have time to blog! yay! And I don't have to put on regular pants and can wear PJ's for most of the day. Another plus. I don't mind wearing regular pants, I just don't have any that actually fit! haha :)

I was kind of looking forward to getting out of the house though. Yesterday I left Caleb with Ethan and took a trip to the grocery store just to have a reason to get out :)

Anyway, if, like me pre-baby, you have ever wondered why people say it takes them forever to get out of the house with a baby, this is why. And I'm sure that my friends who already have babies totally understand what a production it is trying to plan out a day with an infant in tow.

I hope this doesn't sound like a big complaint-fest...it's not really meant to be - more like documentation of my current reality. The day is very routine, just very busy. In a way it's easy to plan things out, even though it takes forever to get around to doing the things that I used to take for granted, like taking a shower and blow-drying my hair. I wonder if life will ever go back to the way it used to be pre-baby. I kind of think it won't, because even though he will eventually sleep through the night, and feeding/burping/changing won't take so much time, there will be other things that take up that time.

I do have a ton more respect for stay at home moms. I always suspected it was a difficult job, and now I know it is! The hard thing about it isn't the work of being a mom - that's great and so rewarding - it's the fact that it just never ends. It's 24/7/365. When you are a stay at home mom, it's like you are always on duty, and nothing ever changes. Of course the routine changes as the baby grows, but it's still the same work, every day, day after day. Even if I leave the baby with Ethan for a while, it's not like I'm having a complete break, because I'm still wearing my mom hat and thinking about how long until the next feeding or whatever. I think it's not the same for Ethan in that way, because he can rely on me to keep track of all of that stuff. It's much easier for him to just put the baby aside and do other things, because he knows that I am on top of it. It's not a criticism, it's just the way things are.

I'm glad I'm going back to work. The hardest thing about that will be missing the 1:1 time with Caleb, but honestly, I'm not one for routine. :) I can't wait to get back to my office and computers and meetings with grown-ups. I know it's going to make me appreciate being with him so much more as well when we do have quality time together.